tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7307964706905270102.post5930417348169691688..comments2023-07-06T03:51:07.537-07:00Comments on Blog of Lom (Löma) Nal: Megan C. Singer, ASW and John M. Knapp, LMSWUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7307964706905270102.post-64588584905246340522011-06-06T09:12:50.011-07:002011-06-06T09:12:50.011-07:00I recently wrote a memoir/narrative blog entry reg...I recently wrote a memoir/narrative blog entry regarding one of my relationships that has been harmed due to my circumstances with Knapp.<br /><a href="http://tossandripple.blogspot.com/2011/06/confidential-wedges.html" rel="nofollow">Confidential Wedges</a><br /><br />I've been giving more thought to "private" and "confidential" as well. <br /><br />As we know, cultic groups use the "private" tactic to silence people. For me it continues to be a challenge to know when, what, and how much to share when situations seem (to me) to push the envelope as to whether or not and how much I should speak up.<br /><br />I'm trying to find a defining measure to help me. I think one of those defining measure is that confidences should not be kept "confident" when that confidence is at the expense of even 1 person. <br /><br />Here is an excellent blog post that brings up something that was requested to be kept 'private':<br /><a href="http://comingtolifestories.com/2011/06/05/confronting-the-great-white-brotherhood-occult-psychodrama/" rel="nofollow">Confronting the Great White Brotherhood - Occult Psychodrama</a>onepersonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10395600714257162622noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7307964706905270102.post-62216966876883990632011-06-03T05:19:03.090-07:002011-06-03T05:19:03.090-07:00Monica, thank you very much for your comment and e...Monica, thank you very much for your comment and explanation!Borz Lom (Löma) Nalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00472412925599801039noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7307964706905270102.post-57723196950314034292011-06-03T05:06:03.489-07:002011-06-03T05:06:03.489-07:00Megan appears to have a misunderstanding about who...Megan appears to have a misunderstanding about who is obligated, regarding confidentiality. Just sticking in a disclaimer at the end of an e-mail doesn't make a person obligated to keep it confidential. That's a risky assumption to make, in my opinion because it really isn't clear that there was ever any kind of agreement and she can't just impose this on people. If someone wants something in an e-mail exchange to be confidential, it would be better to let that person know, in advance before starting the discussion and get their agreement before proceeding further.<br /><br />If, after agreeing, the person violated that, then it could be said to be unethical, but even then, that's as far as it would go if the person is not under any kid of professional code of ethics. It is the professionals, not the clients or other lay people, who are bound by confidentiality and only when it comes to certain defined relationships such as with clients, supervisees, students, colleagues discussing cases, etc. This is something some people new to their professions (and even some who are not) seem confused about.Monica Pignottihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05096661553832690178noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7307964706905270102.post-9376115023778011412011-06-02T23:24:09.510-07:002011-06-02T23:24:09.510-07:00Megan, quite frankly, I do not understand why you ...Megan, quite frankly, I do not understand why you think that the fact that you banned me is something that should be kept secret and private. I think that I have a right to know why you banned me. However, you never explained me. There was nothing confidential in our correspondence because of the simple reason that you did not write me any confidential information.<br /><br />If you had read my blog post carefully, you would have noticed that I never stated that you mentioned Knapp.<br /><br />Your threatens are ridiculous. Your emails to me had nothing to do with your "professional purposes" and did not contain any confidential information. Do not confuse your job with the things that have nothing to do with it and do not confuse confidential information with what is not confidential.<br /><br />I do not understand why you assume that I should be happy that you banned me without explaining the reasons and why you assume that I should keep it confidentially.<br /><br />There is such a thing as presumption of innocence. And everyone who is accused in something has a right to know the exact accusations against him/her and speak in his/her defense before any decision on the matter will be made. These are basic human rights in every civilized and democratic country. You never explained me what were the accusations against me. You never gave me an opportunity to share my side of the story. So, in fact, you violated my human rights.<br /><br />Also, I have never violated any rules of your group. There is no rule that a member of your group who has any problems with another person in the anti-cult community outside of your group will be banned. My problems with somebody outside of your group have nothing to do with membership in your group. These are two different things.<br /><br />So, do you think that I should be happy at all this and be silent? BTW, the freedom of speech is also a basic human right in any democratic country. First, you violated my human rights by not letting me know about the accusations against me and by not giving me an opportunity to defend myself. Now, you are trying to shut me down and thus trying to violate my human right of the freedom of speech. Very interesting. Do you live in a democratic country or not?<br /><br />Would you be happy if somebody did this to you? Since you are a Christian, read Matthew 7:12: "In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you, for this is the Law and the Prophets." Actually, this is a universal principle that you can find in any religion and in any culture.<br /><br />I have removed you from my groups and sites because of your request.Borz Lom (Löma) Nalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00472412925599801039noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7307964706905270102.post-51462495483385877162011-06-02T21:37:56.893-07:002011-06-02T21:37:56.893-07:00You are wrong. I've kept everything between us...You are wrong. I've kept everything between us private and in confidence. Secondly, I've never implicated Knapp at all, this is solely your assumption. Lastly, please remove me from all your groups and blog lists. I do not wish to be actively associated with any one person or organization that likes to air private conversations. You are breaking the confidentially notice that is (and was) in the email exchange. Did you think I took that lightly?Megan Singer ACSWnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7307964706905270102.post-33258606543233421312011-05-21T11:01:13.713-07:002011-05-21T11:01:13.713-07:00Thank you for your comments!Thank you for your comments!Borz Lom (Löma) Nalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00472412925599801039noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7307964706905270102.post-30777349123230946082011-05-21T10:46:53.968-07:002011-05-21T10:46:53.968-07:00PPS: Another thought. I've also strengthened a...PPS: Another thought. I've also strengthened and gained some friendships too. I need to look at the positive side of the coins as well. <br /><br />And, I hope I've become emotionally and mentally stronger...in a good sense. Not hardened, but strengthened; I never want to harden....onepersonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10395600714257162622noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7307964706905270102.post-53480092075646113572011-05-21T10:32:55.437-07:002011-05-21T10:32:55.437-07:00PS: After reading some things around the web this ...PS: After reading some things around the web this morning....I'm left with that sick feeling in my stomach again.<br /><br />My experience with Knapp and all the stuff surrounding that has be horrific, expensive, and damaging for me. Right now, I'd say it was worse than The Way or what happened with certain prominent people at GreaseSpot Cafe. <br /><br />Of course, I'm still in the midst of dealing with the repercussions of the Knapp scenario...and the damaged friendship(s?) as a result; so perhaps my evaluation of being worse is simply that it is at the forefront of my emotional, mental, and physical health.<br /><br />I simply shake my head in disbelief at times; yet I can't deny the obvious.<br /><br />My anti-cult/cult-recovery group experiences (culminating with Knapp) have left me feeling that the cult-recovery field is just a bunch of biased denominations; yet, I have experienced good people too...and at least a combined four healthy organizations/online communities within the cult-recovery field. So I continue to endeavor to refrain from falling into broad strokes and all-or-nothing thinking.<br /><br />Thanks for your outspokeness Lom. It is refreshing.onepersonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10395600714257162622noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7307964706905270102.post-28843600407106371702011-05-21T09:21:52.189-07:002011-05-21T09:21:52.189-07:00I hope that by your posting this blog entry Lom th...I hope that by your posting this blog entry Lom that some of the details regarding what has gone on behind closed doors is manifest.<br /><br />From what I know of the situation that you post about in this entry, it appears that paranoia plays a part. I've seen, been the recipient of, and experienced this type paranoia and secrecy in the 'anti-cult' activist field. <br /><br />It goes on elsewhere too in human groups, not just in the cult/anti-cult realm.<br /><br />It'd be so much easier if folks were simply forth right and would communicate instead of cutting people off. Nothing can be reconciled once shunning takes place.<br /><br />I recently ran across a site about undoing scapegoating. I found the articles thought-provoking.<br /><a href="http://www.scapegoat.demon.co.uk/undoing.htm" rel="nofollow">The Scapegoat Society: Undoing Scapegoating</a><br /><br />[note: The site author suggests (with a word of caution) The Landmark Forum to help people address the harm of scapegoating. I'm not endorsing that aspect; yet, I still found his articles helpful for me.]onepersonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10395600714257162622noreply@blogger.com